This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
