Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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