did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
