It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
