You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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