Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
