I want to stick my p in your. b.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
