I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
