I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
