Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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