Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
