Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize