are you still at the devil's house?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
