I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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