I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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