Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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