So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
