I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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