My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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