It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
