im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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