he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
