Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
