he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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