Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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