He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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