i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize