in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize