Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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