drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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