drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
