She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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