I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
