Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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