Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
