Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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