I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
