Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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