R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
