Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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