he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
