Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
