We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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