i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize