Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
