Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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