Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your cock deserves a montage
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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