We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize