My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Randomize
