Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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