so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
