It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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