since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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