Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
