How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
