Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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