Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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