please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize