so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
