Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize