dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
