sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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