Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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