I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
where are my eyebrows?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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