i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
