I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
