Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
