I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Randomize