Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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