I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
