glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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