Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize