Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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