I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
